Kenya Divas

I really miss those childhood days, back when the biggest decision I had to make was deciding whether to have porridge or tea for breakfast. Before I knew it, puberty crawled in and most of my Saturdays were spent going on and on with my close friend Chichi about the next best thing, Tony; the boy who lived down the street. Mind you, he was the only boy we knew at that time who had facial hair! Where did those days go?

Now here we are, ten years later, in a room jam-packed with total strangers and the ’80s music tunes heavy in the air! We are just in time to catch the fifty-minute sit down lunch and the only fear I have right now is if the guy seated next to me asks me how I’m related to the bride or groom. But I had already rehearsed it; I’ll say I’m a friend of the newlyweds.

How on earth did I allow Chichi to drag me to this wedding? Chichi’s definition of spending a Saturday afternoon is attending wedding receptions for free food and for the obvious - to ogle after handsome groomsmen and the so-called eligible bachelors. She calls it adventurous but I on the other hand call it some sort of desperate longing! It made no difference since I was already at the reception leaning against the refreshment table trying to eat all I could.

Anyway, back to what brought us here. Chichi’s been getting this weird vibe that she’s getting a little too rusty at the dating game owing to the fact that she has been single since forever (her words not mine), so now she decides she needs a man in her life.

 “Oh I can’t die single and alone!” or “Oh I need me a man!” Oh this, oh that. That’s all she chants about these days. Listening to Chuchi’s woes about being single made me wonder if living in singles ville is really such a taboo.

Its been said, being single is not necessarily being alone; it’s more like being whole and unique, being a person with an identity. Most people are victims of a society that tells them since they are in no relationship, they are rejects of some sort, and that something is desperately wrong with them. It’s really tough being single in a world continually calculated for couples. Ever gone into a café or restaurant and found a table for one? Even socks come in a pair.

We often squander time, looking for the ideal relationship with ‘Mr.Right’. We can get so busy looking for someone to be all that and more, that we completely forget to be who we are, and to enjoy our season of singleness as we prepare for the season of marriage. Singleness is all about exploiting your uniqueness as an individual and learning how to be a whole person. Until you become separate, single, unique and whole as a person, you are not ready to be in a relationship.

 
When they say single, unique, separate and whole, they are talking about knowing and enjoying who you are, the authentic you. About getting your goals and purposes in order, and learning to love you. Then, when the time to love another comes, you will do so just as you love yourself. It’s said that you can only love people to the extent to which you accept and love yourself.

When you get to that point in which you don’t need anyone else to validate your wholeness, then and only then will you be ready for God and that special someone.

Back at the wedding, after hustling for my piece of the cake, I’m just in time to witness the throwing of the bouquet. I’m happy to say it landed on me, (ok, maybe not), but it could have if some woman hadn’t literally pushed me off balance to grab it. And as she celebrated her victory catch, I was nursing pain from hitting the floor.

So today when the pastor pronounced the couple husband and wife, I think God was pronouncing Chichi and I single, whole and unique.

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{jatooltips hidewhen="overclosebutton" offsety="16"} [title]Patricia Miswa[/title] [content] Kenya Divas.com contributor in Relationships section [/content] {/jatooltips}